visual diary 64 _ missing before leaving
east-london.
there are places that change you and you’re meeting people who will touch your heart. london was one of these places for me though it was hard at the beginning to find my place there. i wasn’t feeling like a stranger but sometimes what surrounded me seemed strange. but without me recognizing it things changed and london changed from being a white blank page to be a filled map reporting adventures, meetings and experiences.
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and then i started making friends and some time later i met a friend accidentally on the street for the first time and i started to forget that i was speaking english from time to time
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and then i started running out of time… most of this time i tried to ignore that my good bye came closer everyday.
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i was even more trying to embrace the moments and the beautiful people who surrounded me i spent so much time in between trapped in public transport to do everything i urgently felt i have to do. and i spent so little time sleeping. and i had such good times. there have been so many moments i just felt how happy i was in every part of my body.
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it isn’t easy to know all these people and place so far away. it isn’t easy to know that where ever you are there will people you will miss a lot. places have different mode and i loved the one of london. i was always amazed by the fact how diverse it is and that everything could happen. the smell of the air was always full of expectations at least the ones of others if not my own. i was missing london before i was leaving it and i still do.
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it is interesting to see how much a place and the freedom that no one knows your history can make you feel free. the feeling to start a new chapter, to reassess what happened before and make up a different story, a different you. to come back and see yourself trapped in the same patterns of thoughts and knowing this time you cannot run away is hard. at least we all have to confront ourselves with our fears and frustrations. maybe i should be more positive and think about what a privilege it is that there are so many things and people i can miss; how amazing it is to know how strong i can be; how beautiful it is that you can meet people whose story is so different from yours and who maybe grew up on another continent and you just understand each other. i think this feeling of understanding is so important and something we are all longing for.
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there are so many more thing i would like to express but maybe for now the pictures and the music can tell the rest.
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lake people : for now, we are calm and gently (dj set)
(i was listening to this so many times within the last months)
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